An innovative initiative

Washington state has made some interesting history passing a couple of ground-breaking initiatives this political season.

In one swoop we legalized  marijuana and affirmed the right of same-sex folks to marry. I am sure there will be plenty of hair loss over both those issues in the days to come.

That being the case, I had a legal brainstorm on election night for a new initiative.

I have a daughter. Like many fathers I know, my daughter knows much more than I do… just ask her. She told me last night on the phone that since she has graduated from college and has a very good job, she gets to tell me what to do. I’m not sure how that has changed since she has been telling me what to do since she could utter an order, about 6 months old I think.

While getting my life commands on the phone last night, I politely brought up my election-night brainstorm to Little Miss Know Everything. I floated a trial balloon.

“What do you say to me helping you pick your boyfriends?”

My idea is that I get the first right of refusal.

I pointed out that I happen to be something of an authority on the subject. I was once a male, before I got old and had a daughter; now I am simply living in a near-death experience.

I thought this was reasonable. I am not asking to line up the boyfriends, per se (legal talk thrown in for effect), but just do a little reference check, like an employer might do. It’s not like I would need to do a full-blown background search. All I would really need to do is look at the little creep.

I can be fair-minded. Not every boy on earth my daughter’s age is an irresponsible pile of pusillanimous pus (more legal talk to make me sound smart), just all of them I’ve seen so far. I have hope. Some people think I’m Mr. Happy. Even some people who know me… really.

I think I could get a number of fathers to join me in this reasonable request.

I admit my idea was not well received. I am pretty sure the words “crazy” and “nursing home” came up again.

A simple initiative is all I am asking. We float initiatives for almost everything else. I bet I could get a bunch of reasonable dads to sign on and volunteer to get signatures for a petition. I wouldn’t even have to pay anyone to stand out in front of the grocery store with a pen and a sad look.

It is probably safer for me to stick to writing about political mudslinging than crossing swords with my daughter.

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