Editorial | Happy New Year, again | Dennis Box

There are very few TV shows I watch beyond movies older than I am. I hate all reality shows. Reality is bad enough without broadcasting it on multiple channels.

In the morning before work I do like to listen to First Take, the debate sports show between Skippy Bayless and Stephen A. Smith moderated by Cari Champion.

The presidential debates would have been much more entertaining and enlightening if it had been more like Skippy and Stephen A.

I have taken some undue criticism among the newsroom staff because I like these guys on First Take.

Ha! Criticism from sports authorities who couldn’t pick a winner with help from the God.

I am sure if God did try to help them it would go something like this.

“He’s God. What does he know about sports?”

Believe me. God is sort of like an editor. He knows more than everyone but my know-it-all daughter, which seem unfair to me.

We had a similar disagreement in the newsroom about the single most important issue facing our society today. Could Superman beat Dr. Strange?

I was once again ridiculed by a fine writer in the newsroom who continues to believe the Detroit Lions can win… there is an alternate universe for you. Forget the Seahawks game. That was an incomprehensible blip in the universe of time and space. Read Ecclesiastes.

Back to the superhero battle, I proved through superior logic that the magic amulet would put Dr. Strange over the top decisively. And let’s not forget the most important point in my winning argument. Dr. Strange has the coolest cape. We have gone over this many times, but it escapes my younger cohorts. Yeah … go Detroit.

With the New Year approaching, I have decided it is important to establish I am the one who gets to be right about sports, Skippy and Stephen and Dr. Strange.

When things don’t work out my way, as in the case when a certain young reporter has been right about a sports team or makes fun of Dr. Strange’s cape, I have a solution.

It is a mistake in the universe, which somehow means I am right about all sports and capes. Also it is important to remember any state with funny team names like Ducks and Beavers cannot be better than Huskies and Cougars. We win by virtue of the fact we have the cooler names.

This clears the decks for 2013.

Mistakes in the universe do happen, but it’s all just vanities. Read Ecclesiastes.

And Happy New Year.


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